Last Wednesday I cried out to God. I told Him I’m real tired of my back hurting. I trust that God heals. He has healed me in every way because the Bible says that. Every day I do my best to thank God that He has forgiven my sin and healed my diseases. (Psalm 103:1-5) So, then I asked God why my back hurt the day before.
I’ve prayed and sought the answer for my back to be healed since I was 14 years old. I’m 52 now. That’s 38 years. When the doctor diagnosed me with scoliosis (s curve 35 degrees/25 degrees) I figured it would be too costly for dad (raising an extra large family) to afford. He always complained about giving Mom money for the family anyway. I surely didn’t want to burden him down more.
So, I did the best I could to make my back better. For the side of my back that bulged out, I would sleep on a paperback book. Then in the evenings after school I would do lots of back flips in the back yard. The thought of wearing a Milwaukee back brace was scary. It was bulky and I didn’t want to be made fun of at school. I was already real shy and didn’t want mean kids to make fun of me. I even sought God, in an odd sort of way. I asked God to heal my back through me drinking raw milk with honey in it. In my immature thinking, I was getting healthy natural calcium there for the bones in my back and I had heard about the wonderful Promised Land flowing with milk and honey in the Bible.
In my child bearing years, I had four children. The s curve progressed. When I carried my babies on my hip I tried to carry them on the the hip that was least harmful to my back. Once I saw in the paper of a doctor that promised a cure for scoliosis. When I saw the article I got on my knees and begged God to use this doctor to heal my back. We went to the meeting and it was a chiropractor doctor who was trying to talk patients into selling supplements that supposedly helped cure scoliosis along with getting treatment from him. It was vague so we walked out of the meeting.
In my thirties, I worked at a manufacturing plant. The insurance was awesome but taking the weeks off for back surgery wouldn’t be realistic. So I learned to deal with the pain by stretching on my breaks. I learned to press on the parts of my back with my thumb that were in pain to calm down the overactive imbalanced muscles. I liked the physical movement in the job but everyday my back hurt.
I have a high tolerance for pain. So, if my back is hurting I won’t tell anyone. All through the years, oh, how I wanted to just have a normal back. All of my life, I have intentionally, tried not to complain out loud. I don’t want to be a whiner so I don’t say my back hurts until it’s so distracting that I can’t focus on the task at hand. I’ve tried sucking my gut in and working hard to have the best posture possible. I’ve always been sensitive to people noticing my back. So sensitive, at times, that someone, as a kind gesture, would touch me on the back and I would jerk away.
In recent years I’ve taught Yoga. It really helped keep the pain down. I even gained confidence and lossed the fear of people judging me for being different. I’ve also discovered that when I lie still for a long time the pain gets worse. My back has hurt so bad, my mouth would water but I would try hard to ignore it. An important way I keep pain away is movement. Sometimes I wish others could see the s shape (60 degree/45 degree) X-rays that have been taken.
God answered my prayer last Wednesday. It was a windy warm springish evening. It reminded me of happy grade school days when my best friend and I would play on the playground together. I was supposed to go to church but I was burdened down so I went for a walk on a familiar walking trail since the weather was finally warm enough. I have had pain in my lower back for about a year. I try my best to take pain relievers as little as possible but I’ve taken them more in recent days. In my fifties, I’m not on any regular medicine. I like it that way and thank God. After the walk, my crying out to God had an answer. I realized the three mile walks take the pain away. I had stopped walking during the winter and have just been a couch potato.
In a reasonable way, God had promptly answered my prayer. I still trust God to heal me completely. I am healed. I don’t care what anyone thinks that reads the previous words. If I’m going to look like a fool to anyone it will be because I’m looking to the Creator of all existence who has unfailing love toward me. So I trust and thank my ultra powerful Heavenly Father that He has healed me in every single way before I die and go to Heaven, and it is all to glorify His name. Jesus rules my life everyday.