“The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil:
he shall preserve thy soul.
The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for
evermore.”
(Psalm 121:7-8)

Sometimes I look at my situation. Our family is lowly in what our society considers respectable. We make the least amount in both sides of the family. Just recently we’ve had another degrading blow to our family in that I was falsely accused and fired and we’re having to figure out how to get money for our family for each week, plus we’re working through another unexpected financial process we’ve fought against throughout the years and then we’ve had to put our children on medicaid.
All this is embarrassing to me. I never intended this for my life. I just wish (not in an arrogance sense) that I was in a more respectable situation instead I’ve been in a lowly situation and embarrassed for years. It seems like since I’ve tried so hard through the years to serve God in my life and my family He would put us in a more respectable way so that people would maybe admire us a little and then look to God because we are a family that follows after God.
Not so. I get tired of waiting for God. Instead of giving us a respectable situation it seems He takes material possessions away and just gives us what we need while He blesses other Christians. I’m to the point in my life that I don’t want to let people know our struggles, especially my family, even though I could use their prayers.
So when I read a Bible passage like the one above. I hope and want that verse to be for our family. I hope this Bible passage is a love note from God letting me know He really does care for us and He sees how we try hard to represent Him. Sometimes I feel like God is intentionally being mean to us because we need to learn some big lesson. And sometimes I feel like He doesn’t hear all my prayers to make our situation better.
I know God hears every one of our prayers and I know He remembers all the tears, selfish and unselfish, I’ve cried lately. The Bible says so. But sometimes, I really get frustrated and think God is not going to bless us in big ways in this world. I’ll just have to wait until I get to Heaven to receive from God for our faithfulness and never receive in this life abundant blessing for our obedience. If that is to be true, and I hope it is not, it makes me angry and bitter sometimes that people who totally ignore God have life better than my family. It’s like, we are children of God, but God gives to people who don’t even think about Him or care about Him.