I haven’t been able to get the results of my MRI yet. The doctor’s office was supposed to let me know within 24 hours but the MRI place is backed up with test results.

I talked with the nurse, Ruby, she’s a sweet lady and she knows I really want to know. She said she would do all she can to get them. I told her I trust and rest in that. She said if the MRI had revealed something critical the radiologist would have called the doctor personally.
Danny and I decided to have a family meeting and tell our children what was going on. I debated whether to tell them after I knew exactly what was going on, or tell them all along the way. Danny said we should tell them as we go. I love this perspective of my husband. He says, It’s better to plan for the worst case scenario and then be pleasantly surprised. So we talked with our children about all the possibilities. Danny thought of a great Bible verse for my situation. Paul wrote in the New Testament, “For to live is Christ and to die is gain.” What a good perspective for a Christian to have in life. What does the future hold? I don’t know but I know whenever I die I get heaven and that will be great! for eternity.
I had Danny do all the talking because I could never look into the faces of my four children and tell them I might die. I definitely could not do such a thing without crying big crocodile tears in front of them. And then they would know I was so upset that they would get upset too, and possibly get scared. Danny is a very logical person with low key emotion. I am a very emotional person who has to be cautious to not overuse it. So we presented to them all the facts and now we just have to find out the results. And honestly, I don’t think the MRI results will be real bad and overwhelming.
When I think God may be talking to me I get very leary. I never want to put words into my Heavenly Father’s mouth. And sometimes my imperfect low self esteem can get in the way and I don’t believe that God would talk to me in a big way instead I tend to think God would lean toward giving me the impression that He is ignoring me in order to somehow help me grow in trusting Him. In my past there have been times I whole heartedly sought God and got no answer. This has offended me and I fear that anytime God can choose for long periods of time to give me no answer even though I feel desperate for one. Personally, I think that it would be mean for God to do that.
In human terms, if my little girl came to me and ask me a big important question, I would not ignore her but to the best of my ability give her the answer quickly. I know God sees the big picture and works efficiently with those who follow after Him. God’s intentions are to use His followers to get other people’ s attention and then they build a relationship with Him on earth and then get to spend eternity with Him in Heaven where it is holy and sinless.
I suppose I’m rambling on now but that’s what you get when you read a sight like mine, Linda’s “Thoughts”.
Even though, I have no results yet I feel less worry. In fact, I feel like I’m overstating concern to you. I probably just have a benign lump that will require surgery to remove. And you know what, I feel God’s presence in all this. From time to time I see what I call “love notes” around that are from Him. They are little details most would call coincidences but I know they’re a sign when I see several of them , that God is walking along with me in my day. 🙂