The long winding ribbon of highway on our nearly four hour drive would ultimately bring us to the destination of Jasper, a tiny town with a population of about 450 in the Ozark hills of Arkansas. It was "down home" for my father-in-law, Ford. His only brother, Berlin had died just a few days earlier and we would arrive in time for the funeral.
We arrived about an hour early. The funeral would be at 10am on this Thursday morning. The warm bright Spring weather added a comforting touch to the sad day in which we would pay our final respect to Berlin Carlton.
Berlin was married to Bonnie. They had been together for an amazing nearly half century. His death would be a major change for Bonnie mainly, and of course, their son Kirby and his wife Regina and their three mostly grown children, Kalan, Kimberly and Kylin. Berlin and Bonnie also had a son named Clifford who had died just a few years ago. They are a very close knit family. They live across a dirt road from each other. They would all need strength to slowly work through these days without the always present patriarch of the family.
When the funeral began all the family members sat in a designated room to the side of a small stage which was behind the casket. We completely filled the pews. The area wasn't lit. I liked it that way because while you quietly grieved no bright light would reveal tears that may come and uncontrollably fall. A white sheer curtain divided us from the rest of the mourners. We could vaguely see the casket, the flowers and everyone else as they quietly waited for the service to begin. To my surprise the mere opening of the sheer curtain brought some encouragement. As it opened the area around the casket suddenly blossomed with the bright colors from all the flowers sent by caring friends and family. A small band of three began to play music. Two older men played guitars and a young man probably in his teens picked the banjo. They played a simple old hymn and then they played "Amazing Grace". It was relaxing and comforting as I sang the words in my mind while they played. I admired their talent and it made me want to learn play a banjo. The first to speak was the Pastor of Berlin's church. He began by telling an anecdotal story as such speakers often do. It was about a discouraged preacher who was helped by a friendly church member passing by. The Pastor, as he shed tears and his speech would become broken and quiet, then said the person who helped the discouraged preacher was just like Berlin. The service continued on with another song and another speaker who helped us reminisce about the Berlin's life. Then the small bluegrass band came forward and through tears spoke of Berlin as their friend. After that they played a final song.
At the end of the service a very touching event occurred. The casket where Berlin rested was closed but the mourners who passed by it began to stand in line and wait. They were waiting for the opportunity to give comfort to Bonnie and her loved ones. I sat with my family in the pew behind them. And I observed as each person passed by. Some would hug. Others would shake hands and then others would say the kindest words they could think of. I saw many tears. Tears shed unselfishly for another. I saw grown men with gray hair openly cry as grief covered their face. I saw a teenage boy shed tears as he hugged the family members. I saw and heard a woman sob out loud as she understood and shared the grief with the family. So many came by and Bonnie would continuously stretch her arms out and hug them as they were constantly reaching for her. Surely Bonnie and the rest of the family could gain strength from this amazing outpouring from all these people. Finally, after about 20 minutes the line lessened and I went to comfort them. I told them I was praying for them. The last person I hugged was Bonnie. And just like always she gave me a hug and would hold on to me just a little longer and in an unspoken way gave me encouragement when I was trying to bring some to her.
Berlin had gained so many friends all through his years of living in Jasper. Many of the people probably knew Berlin when he and Bonnie were the managers for the famous Diamond Cave. They had done that for 37 years. It was amazing to know the calm and quiet spoken Uncle Berlin I knew was a friend to so many. His son Kirby said when Berlin would go into town to buy something he would be gone most of the day "just visitin'". The long line of comforters at the funeral was a small example of what had happened the night before. When the funeral home was opened for the viewing Bonnie and the family were quietly encouraged by family and friends who stood in a line that stretched to the Post Office next door. Those in line offered their hugs, handshakes, thoughts and prayers and kind words for an hour and forty-five minutes!
As a Christian, Berlin left a legacy to his family. It was that of friendship. Berlin constantly gave to others through friendliness and gifts that were homemade. It's a beautiful sight to behold when you see the truth of the Bible obviously displayed through how a person lived their life. There's a verse in Proverbs (18:24) that describes one of the best characteristics of his life. It says, "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." Berlin along with his dedicated wife, Bonnie made this verse reality through their simple unselfish life.
After the funeral, my sister-in-law, Tanya talked of how Berlin died. Although a very sad event, he died in a way that most would want to die. He had went to town with Bonnie. While Bonnie shopped for groceries he stayed in the pickup truck and talked with his friend Billy. Suddenly he gasped and laid his head back. Bonnie along with many others ran to his side. They tried several times to revive him but were unable to do so. They said he died of a heart attack. He was 75 years old. Losing him is difficult to accept, but in a way his instant death was a gift from God.