If this blog entry were a piece of paper and if I had a pen in hand, I would write out completely my recent work aggravations and then I would take my pen and start ripping and stabbing . . .

. . .through the written words as many times as I possibly could while I gritted my teeth so hard I would be on the verge of chipping one or two. All the while I would be growling a hateful growl through my tightly clinched teeth. Then I would take the torn pieces and hand rip them into even tinier pieces and then I would wad it all up and throw it as hard as I could against the wall. After that I would just leave it on the floor, letting someone else pick it up because I would refuse to yield to the conformity that properly disposing of disgusting trash would bring.
My bosses are on my nerves.
Today I was working in the final test area for our ranges. We use a diagnostic program on a computer to test them. We were testing our most expensive ranges which have lots of things to check. I haven’t been in the area alot so, of course, I’m not going to be fast to remember everything to test. I kept trying to focus on all the details and also watch the assembly line to see if I was causing the line to stop. This brought on stress because I would look and then I would think the boss would be here soon asking me the notorious question, “Why is the line stopped?”
So I decided that before he came over I would warn in an apologetic way that he would be here soon. Finally, he came. I decided I would be offensive rather than defensive so before he asked I told him the reason why the line was stopped was because of me. Then I considered that maybe I could offer some helpful advice, I said he should come do my job and that I needed to be moved since I’m holding up the line. (Hey, logic would merit to do this, so that the ranges could move through more efficiently, right?) I think this annoyed him because he offered me some disciplinary action advice in return. And then he stood there watching me like bosses will do.
When a boss does this you feel like you’re sweating bullets and it seems as if he’s breathing down your neck and glaring at your every move. I hate when this happens. So I told him, while he’s standing there watching me he has made me a nervous wreck so that I can’t think clearly!! It seemed to me that this would be defeating his purpose?
Why can’t he, just like all the other bosses throughout years past who have “glared at me with arms folded”, realize they’re slowing me down with such intimidation. They’re not causing me to go faster because my hands are shaking and I can’t calm down enough to think faster. My boss offered no encouragement or even a tiny bit of help. He didn’t even suggest if there would be a possibility of another worker helping me out some. I just wish he could have given me some neutral (not flowery) encouragement such as, “Hang in there, the more ranges you test the faster you’ll get.” He would just be stating an obvious fact even though it’s still encouragement. I also think bosses need to allow for the employee to express some frustration and understandingly help the person calm down a bit. The boss could gain some loyalty from his employees by simply listening in an empathetic way. I was working as fast as I could but there was no chance that I could have went as fast as those who regularly did the job.
After my first boss left, I had a new boss watch me for awhile. I guess they were letting her practice being mean on me. She watched me from a short distance. It’s okay. I don’t like it but she needs to start looking authoritative somehow. I like her because she likes her job and she seems to care. After she observed me working, (I’m not sure if she had the “arms folded, authority figure look” going then or not) but she was nice to me later during the day. I guess you could say that would be a good balance, “intimidating persona” when the assembly line needs to get moving and a “hi, hun, how are you doing? persona” later on in the day when things calm down.
Finally, I have one more boss that I have known for several years. He cares but sometimes I think he’s going to get so tired of me one day, that he’ll just fire me. I hope not. My jobs not wonderful but it gets me good insurance for my family (especially my two children with pre-existing conditions).
It’s 11:35, I’ve been writing this at a time when I should be sleeping. I need to get up at 4am! I just had to get it off my chest. I kept tossing and turning in bed thinking about my annoying day. Hey, I may be low on the Totem pole at work but I still have a right and privilege my opinion on my blog 🙂
Thanks, for a listening ear.