Grandpa’s Tears

Sometimes I can get real emotional. My emotions can easily follow the twists and turns and up and downs of a roller coaster ride. Yep! Sometimes I’m like an emotional roller coaster.

But that’s okay. I’ve learned to keep my emotions in check. I’ve learned to decide whether to angrily express myself and then calm myself down. I’ve learned to be excited and happy but not so much that I tire myself out. I’ve learned that at the appropriate time when I’m giving my children a small “life lecture” to get incredibly serious. I’ve learned to control my crying abilities and not try to manipulate situations and make them more emotional than necessary. I know tears can be used to stress an important point but should not be abused and be used to play on others emotions. God gave me the ability to have strong emotions in every way and I always want to be cautious in using this (controlled) gift.
My husband on the other hand tends to not show emotion. In fact, he is so controlled in his anger abilities, instead of losing his temper, he has trained himself to find his temper in appropriate situations. And in our fifteen years of marriage I have hardly have ever seen him cry.
He learned this attitude toward crying from his dad. His dad grew up in the ’30’s and ’40’s. His mother died when he was ten years old. Men back then would hold back their tears because it was not considered strong and manly.
It’s okay that my father-in-law is this way. I still respect him alot for who he is.
I know this may sound a little silly but I was watching the CAN video again and I started crying because I realized the dad was sacrifically giving his son a small taste of the joy of heaven while still alive on earth and while the son is inside a body that just won’t allow him to personally fulfill his mighty passion to be an accomplished athlete his dad figured out a way for him to experience such accomplishment.
I really don’t think my father-in-law would ever cry over a video like that. He didn’t even cry at his brother’s funeral a couple of year’s ago. But I did see him cry, just once. It was out of the corner of my eye. And every time I think of when it happened I’m glad he is the way that he is.
He cried when my second-born son was in the critical newborn unit at Saint Francis Hospital in Tulsa. Our baby had just been transported there and the doctor’s told us he had a 50/50 chance of survival. As I swallowed hard, trying to accept this difficult news my husband was near and my father-in-law was there, too, giving me support and understanding even without offering me an emotional hug.
Ginny saw me cry during the video. She asked me why her daddy doesn’t cry very much. I told her he was like Grandpa and then I told her the only time I ever saw him cry. Both of their stoic personalities still have much emotional impact because when it happens it is rare thus stressing the point that the event is one to remember.

Leave a Reply